oranges of the story
Origins of the TAS - 1000 Tape Machine
In August of 2001, one of its members purchased the Sanyo TAS 1000 VOX
answering machine from a Value Village thrift store in Kelowna BC. They
soon realized that the previous owner, Marta, forgot to take her
cassette tape out of it. The recordings that it held contained "musical
potential."
"[U]pon repetition, recorded speech simultaneously loses its meaning and
discloses distinct tonal properties, conferring an anthemic quality upon
ordinary and banal phrases. This effect can be driven home by the use
of a ‘scratching’ technique, whereby the answering machine’s rewind
button is manipulated to rapidly highlight short sections of monologue."
At some point after 2002-10-02, the DIGITAL HORN (a "Midi Saxophone" as seen below) joined the band as the second semi-sentient member, alongside the Sanyo TAS 1000.
At their farewell concert they stopped after only two songs. At the abrupt end of the show the band drop-kicked the TAS 1000 until it was effectively destroyed, symbolically ending the band.
a message for marta
A Message For Marta
´TAS 1000 - A Message For Marta´
A Message for Marta is TAS 1,000's debut album, as well as their only. A Message for Marta features the following tracks:
1. Not A Real Person
2. (I've Been) Delayed(*)
3. Protein Shoes
4. Birthday
5. I Am A Truly Fully Licensed Hair Stylist
6. Ya, I'm Here
7. Science and Technology
8. Business Card Ad
9. Irrigation
10. Parks Canada
11. Before You Leave
12. I'm At 9933
The Characters
2003-01-19
The unwitting vocalist is the lynchpin of every TAS 1000 song. His or
her performance makes (and inevitably breaks) the music, which is
written solely to accommodate the answering machine message. None of the
messages have been tampered with to change their meanings or their
original, often shrieking, pitch.
Here are a few short bios of some of our 'singers.' Please note that all names are approximate, and the content of the lyrics is subject to interpretation
RON RONDON(performs: 'I've Been Delayed,' 'Parks Canada,' 'I'm At 9933')
We take Ron to be the star of Marta's squad. He's always on key, and
always in proper time. An employee of Parks Canada, his relation to
Marta is ostensibly one of business, but some feel that he is perversely
dependent on her. Whatever his motivations, it is clear from the first
listen that Ron is a virtuoso of the answering machine message.
Notable quotes:
"I'd hate to (heh heh) book a day off for nothing!"
"Heh heh!"
"I've been delayed..."
"Ten, ten fifteen."
"The works!"
"Are ya there, or not?"
"Are ya there Martha?"
"Pick this up and check this out."
JAYNE
(performs: 'Protein Shoes')
Jayne is sassy in a self-conscious way that accentuates her charms. She
recounts how Marta took a pair of 'protein shoes' over to the warehouse,
and that these need to be returned to Ian, who will then
reimburse Jayne for the shoes. From the sound of it, Jayne wants to be
stern, but cannot conceal her apprehension at incurring Marta's wrath.
One's heart must go out to her despite the confusion over what a
'protein shoe' is.
Notable quotes:
"You took a pair of protein shoes."
"So we need to get the shoes back..."
"...he'll give me the money for the shoes!"
"Marta...Marta..."
"This is a message for Marta."
GRAHAM
(performs: 'Birthday')
Graham is a gentle man. He doesn't want to frighten his little niece
Krysha when he leaves a message. TAS fans, however, seem to have an
altogether different reaction to his voice, calling it "creepy".
Notable quotes:
"Krysha's birthday; happy birthday!"
"I just understood that somebody there was having a birthday!"
"Hello to everyone there and uhhhh."
"Hi, Kaz!"
A.J.
(performs: 'I Am Truly Fully Licensed Hairstylist')
A.J. thinks she's the happy-go-lucky type, but her giddyness at having
passed a hairdressing exam betrays the underlying anxiety in her
character. While her delivery sometimes strays into uncomfortable
frequencies, no one can really blame her for being excited on this great
day. The origin of A.J.'s accent is a point of hot debate among TAS
fans. All attempts by TAS 1000 to locate A.J. and get truly fully
licensed haircuts have proven fruitless.
Notable quotes:
"I have passed my examination!!!"
"I am truly, fully licensed hairstylist!!!"
"Oh, I'm so excited!!!"
"OK, I'm excited!!!"
"I've gotta phone some other people, and tell them I did it!!!"
"This is A.J. Whalen!!!"
"Thanks so much, so VERY VERY much!!!"
"Have an awesome 'dee,' bye-bye!!!"
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